Saturday, August 13, 2011

Taming the Turtle Neck

Every girls night out and after the first glass of wine, the classic question always finds its way to the table. The topic has shifted to love, relationships, and that all time favourite, sex, when someone puts her drink down and says “circumcised or uncircumcised?” The answer is almost always unanimous in support of the former, but, honestly, most American women, myself included before coming to France, had never even met the later. Why so much hostility for the unknown? I admit I was one of the strongest anti-uncut advocates in the group, but I'd have to be honest: I all ready found the penis quite horrendous to behold, so who was to say it was capable of being worse?

My only exposure to the dreaded au natural before coming to France was some frightening looking drawings in an everything-you-need-to-know-about-sex book written and illustrated in the 80’s. They were scary, droopy things that looked like long hanging socks, and my friends and I were fairly convinced we wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with them; nor could we really fathom how the dang things even worked.

Welp, I have been to the other side,(only 14% of the men in France are circumcised) and I have, after several months and several sizes, shapes and temperaments, tamed the turtle neck.

And I think they're great! The little sheath is kind of a protective cover for the sensitive tip. If pulled down, the penis looks exactly like we're accustomed to- but it has a magic trick. Once, I was lying in bed with TMI, and, pretty much like always, he had an erection. We weren't planning on doing anything about it this particular instance, so, while I happened to be watching, TMI reached down, and, casually and carelessly grabbed hold of the skin on his penis and yanked it up to cover the tip. I gasped. “Doesn’t that hurt?!”

He didn’t even realise he had done it as it was apparently second nature. Wow! They can actually put the things away when they're not in use. Something about that is just a little too practical and.. polite for me to not be in support of. Lets be honest: the penis is hardly something enjoyable to look at,(unless you’re a man, as they undoubtedly find them magnificent,) and the sheath sort of hides it; covers up the blunt details. This pleases me! You can actually tell the guy to "put that thing away" and he actually can.

It's really rather amazing how circumcision has become the norm to such an extant that many women of my and even the generation before have never even run into the the natural version. What do you think? Is it really fair that the uncut get the short end of stick?

"Taming the Turtle Neck" is a guest post written for
The Peanut Gallery:


  1. My husband is un-cut, and I've never had sex with anyone else. So I can't claim to have experience with both options, but I have done a bit of research and from what I've read, sex is better with the uncircumcised man. Apparently the extra skin can help seal in the moisture during penetration and all the movement thereafter.
    I can't really understand why any man would be in favor of having ANY part, no matter how small, cut off from the pleasure center of his body...
    I don't plan to ever circumcise any of my sons.

  2. All this talk about circumcision, I need to find myself a guy.... maybe an ad in Craigslist is in order.

    BTW I think the penis is quite sexy

  3. I think uncircumcised is becoming the more popular choice. I mean look at San Francisco - they're wanting to make a law against the circumcision of infants! I used to work with infants and toddlers, and noticed that hardly any of the parents were choosing to circumcise their children. The way of the future, perhaps?


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