Code Names and Characters

Not surprisingly, IFFTP is a notorious relationship RUINER. So, it's kept secret and written under a pen name. If you happen to know who I am, please, don't tell any of the following about this blog:

B: When I studied abroad here last summer I had a romance with B which I later realised back on my own turf was really a romance with France. Regardless, he remains at present my only friend in a new world. <view posts with B>

Update: as any reader will have noticed, relationship with B has deteriorated to a seething hatred of his helplessness and lack of personal hygiene and general life skills. He puts rice in a colander, for pete’s sake. 

K: Before moving to France, K had been my significant other for 5 years. The relationship as a whole was a mess, as K dealt with depression, unemployment, and anger issues while we lived together for 3 years.

To this day K believes that I remain chaste to him and that B is gay. Bottom line: the truth would be an unnecessary ouch. so button up!

Harry: Charming English kid who studies at the music conservatoire here in Dijon. I once really liked him for our ability to have a platonic relationship, but after attending several violin concerts (he's amazing) and one too many late night drinks together, I've started falling for the guy and have taken to sending him inappropriate drunk text messages at 3 am. Harry has a girlfriend in England and they have been maintaining a long distance relationship these past 8 months.<view posts with Harry>

Jonas: Strange French guy with very wide eyes and slow gestural hand movements that freak me out. But he comes with my friendship with Harry so I tolerate him. The two together may sometimes be abbreviated as "H and J" and the three of us form "Team Olympia" in the tri-person cycling olympics. 

E.D: Stands for Erectile Dysfunction, which I know is irrationally cruel for a secret name. Very VERY sweet guy who I've been dating but unable to sleep with for fairly obvious reasons. <view posts with E.D>

Handsome Parisian: I met him online while looking for new friends abroad and had a day-date with him when I visited Paris for the first time. He has since visited me for a weekend here in Dijon, and I for a follow up there. Naturally I fell for him immediately before discovering he was only after one thing. <view posts with Handsome Parisian>

TMI (now "A") : His good looks caught my attention in a bar while I was licking my Harry + Parisian induced wounds and, encouraged by mild drunkenness, I stuck a leg out as he passed by my table to trip him and get a better look. Things moved slowly as the butterflies were a no-show, but against both of our best guesses we've fallen in love - ..and now we're married as of May 25th, 2013 <view posts with TMI>

Scratchy: My one and only English student, the French Surfer from the South. Scratchy engages in all sorts of inappropriate behavior like trying to feed me with his fingers, take me to New Zealand, and face-plant-kiss-attack me after motorcycle adventures. <view posts with Scratchy>

Berlioz: The scooter Harry left me when he left France. As of yet he and I have the most fulfilling and committed relationship of any of the above.
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