Monday, December 17, 2012

Pussy Party Aftermath

Well, I went to the party. -And I was really hoping that it would be either A) good, or B), bad in a funny way so that I could write a sarcastic post about it. ..But it wasn't really either of these things. 

Honestly I'm really conflicted about it so I'm not sure how to even proceed describing it. I'm unsure if I'm old, boring, anti-social, and irrational, or if the party was just wildly too childish for me. Or maybe I'm just not a party person. Who knows, but when TMI asked me in the aftermath , 'god, didn't you think Chantal was funny?" -Chantal being a guy dressed as a gogo dancer with big blow up plastic boobs and a gold thong, who, once the party moved to a bar, got on stage to "perform" with the band,) I felt dismayed to think that I instead found it rather gross and completely juvenile. ,,Maybe I would have found it funny under different circumstance?? I dunno!

I'm ashamed to say it but I cried sporadically through the night and the next day. We missed our train home Sunday and had to sleep with a friend and come back Monday morning. I'm totally screwed up about it. I don't know if I'm the victim or the bad guy for not having fun. I don't know if I love my boyfriend or if he's just intensely handsome and I think that I need him to love me. 

Do I need a break up? Therapy? Anti-depressants? A chill pill and  just to learn how to party?

Either way I'm on the couch tonight :/

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Pussy Party

So I'm agonizing over a tough decision. TMI wants to go to a crazy costume party for his rather fat and crude drunk friends in the south of France on saturday. He insists that I go. I will have to pay $150 in gas, highway fees, and train tickets, plus a 6 hour drive there and three hour drive to a train station on the way back. We won't be home until midnight on Sunday.(Monday morning, technically.) Sounds like the worst thing ever to me. Enclosed smoking and sleeping in puke on the floor, more or less. But, if I stay here I'll be alone and sad thinking of him going crazy and having fun without me and probably commit suicide from loneliness and insecurity, but at least it will be cheaper and better for my liver. 

Importantly, here's what the invite to the party looks like: 

"Grémaillière de [so and so] et [whats'-his-name] au [distant address]. Veuillez trouver l'obligeance de vous vêtir de votre plus bel accoutrement en G (Gouine autorisé et fortement encouragé). Munissez-vous d'une bouteille (cubi, felissou, villageoise et autres alcools frelatés autorisés et encouragés) et de votre appareil génital (monotesticule ou chatte en sauce et/ou chatte à l'ail autorisés et encouragés de même).

Prière d'arriver le gosier sec et l'esprit clair, aucun débordement ne saura toléré. 
Amicalement, les Grolocs.
PS: bifles et hélicoptères interdits."

Yes, there are words like "monotesticle" and "pussy sauce" in this one paragraph invite. This is the other thing that gets me. One of the two people throwing this costume / house warming party is a girl who regualarly hurles such phrases like those above at my boyfriend in facebook comments and texts, and worse, he responds in the same lingo. I don't get it.I took him for a rather reserved, classy, intellectual type. A friend told me I need to go just to supervise my boyfriend in these vaginal conversations, but I find it rather.. repelling. 

So do I go or do I stay? It should also be noted that as it is a costume party, if I do go, I will be trapped in a two person card board rendition of the Great Wall of China.


Opinions anyone? Personally I'm thinking that I'm way too old for this. 

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