Sunday, July 10, 2011

Words from a Wistful Without

Considering it's usually my conversation starter at any and all "girls night out"s, I've put this off for a surprisingly long time. Honestly there was a small part of me still harboring the hope that it would be unnecessary if I just held out long enough.

There is one rather substantial detail that I've been omitting on IFFTP that may better explain why France hasn't been the sexual haven many of us think it's cracked up to be. I have never had an orgasm during sex. In fact, I have never even been in the ball park of possibly having an orgasm during sex, ever.

So, in light of this short coming, what makes good sex? Im not singing Handsome Parisian's praises for no reason. He's cruelly handsome, his hands are the size of dinner plates, and he kisses softly and makes love.. raucously. I've learned over the years that what I get out of sex just comes out of a different filing cabinet than what I get out of stimulation. Excitement, noise, the well being of my partner ...exercise. I'm sure this isn't an unfamiliar song for every woman out there, right?

All the same, last night, I strayed from my usual path and decided to make an effort to what was written off long ago as a lost cause. Details aside, the episode ended with a very impressed parter and an INCREDIBLE smack down of sexual frustration on my part.

It's such a let down that lately I've been thinking of going to women. Seriously.

The elusive orgasm. I want to know about it. Are you a proud owner, a hopeful hunter, or a wistful without?


  1. Proud owner here, but oral only. To be graphic, I've never had an "intercourse orgasm". I don't miss, seek or require the latter though. Fortunately I've known very talented tongues!

    My orgasms have also evolved to squirting though I don't classify them as "orgasm" as such.

    I'm also knocking at the door of my highly anticipated sexual peak! I.cant.wait.

  2. I think u need to have real man, who will make love with for hours not to consider sex lige some excercise...and to spend time with every area of your body!!

  3. Aloha Defender of the Phoque. So I get this random Facebook message from a total stranger asking me if I'm the girl from Kona with the blog, living in Paris. In fact, I am, but I didn't realize there were a few of us. So I wander over here to check you out, and alas, you live in Dijon. Just wanted to say 'hi'. So it seems you're a vegetarian who grew up at the Aloha Theatre, too? And I thought I was SOoo original. ;) - Maile

  4. Came across your blog from IROCKSOWHAT and I gotta say that I'm in the same boat as orgasms during sex at least to date. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it, far from it in fact! Thanks for writing something so frank :)

  5. i had only been with 3 men before i met my fiance, and we actually started from a one night stand, the guys before him went from bad, to worse, to promising in bed (although the promising one got relocated about 2 weeks after we met, haha). the man i lost my virginity to was the kind of guy bwho just wants to get his rocks off...bad idea, we were dating, but he was an asshat...anyway, i was pretty innocent and he had no desire in pleasing me or even teaching me what he wanted, that ended up being dead fish sex, haha. the second guy was a one night stand as well, and he lasted all of 10 seconds, bueno. the 3rd man was pretty good, got me close and actually got me to enjoy sex, but that was not meant to be, and i was at a frustrating point in my life when i met my soon to be husband, craving affection. i thought he was just looking for sex, and clearly so was i, but our first time together i had an orgasm from oral, and then another one from intercourse! he kept coming back and not just for sex, and it has been almost 2 years of amazing sex, almost every night still, and no, not every time we have sex, but we have never had bad sex. so i would say...PROUD OWNER (not to brag, well, yeah, bragging, but my record for orgasms in "session" with him is currently 5!). what it comes down to really is chemistry, he was a hookup at first, but even that first night we had more of a connection than i have ever felt with anyone before.

  6. Nope not an owner at all. Orally but not just sex unfortunately. I am loving your blog BTW.

  7. Many women never experience orgasm during intercourse. It's more a matter of biology than a shortcoming or technique. I wouldn't worry about it, as long as you can achieve it with your partner in other ways.

  8. Proud Owner, though it took some effort at first to achieve an orgasm from intercourse alone. I've had to train every new partner on how to please me. I'm convinced that the female orgasm is 50% mental and 50% physical (at least it is for me).


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