Thursday, July 28, 2011


This month is a slightly unusual month for me. Normally, like hundreds of thousands of other women, as I approach the 4th week of the month I start gripping my sheets and whining and kicking like a little kid, pleading that the universe grace me with just one more week, one more day, one more hour, before the dreaded menstrual cycle.

But this month, something flat out magical is happening. As I tweeted a few weeks ago, Yasmin oral contraceptives are around €5-8 a month in France. Without health insurance, one packet in the US is gonna cost at least $60. So! Before heading to the South week before last, I made a doctor's appointment, pretended to understand a bunch of medical French, picked up my prescription at the pharmacy, and have since been literally rocking on my heels waiting for the cramps to kick in so I know I can start the first pill.

I took oral contraceptives when I was younger and here is what I'm pretty much ecstatic about getting again: 1) WEIGHT LOSS. Dear god, yes. Just, yes. 2) Bigger Boobs. 3) Easier, more regular periods, and, the reason that started all of this, 4) TMI and I can have sex anywhere, everywhere, and all over the place. It turns out a mutual turn on is going for it where we absolutely should not go for it, (trains, stairwells, movie theatres, crumbling architecture from the times of antiquity) and fumbling with a condom is a serious mood breaker.

But this is all "silly and inappropriate for blogging." Ahem.

So what I really want to say is that, yesterday, I put myself on a bus that led me out of the medieval bubble I live in and into the civilized world, where, at the French equivalent of Walmart, I bought a printer. This is important because now I no longer have to venture into the stinking cave of B to print my exercises each week for my English lessons. This IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT. When I arrived in France, I was completely dependent on the guy: I needed him for food, French, a place to stay, moral support, everything. Now, with the purchase of this printer, I have at last snipped that last shred of umbilical cord that kept me connected to that mess of a person. And it feels great.


  1. so iv said it before but ill say it a million times again... ENVY! how i wish i could do the dirty on the "crumbling architecture from the times of antiquity" one day i will come to france and you will show me everything you know.

    also im not on BC bc it makes me GAIn weight. WHat is this magical weight loss pill you speak of?

  2. Girl, I hope you both are going to get tested before you lose those condoms! Good luck!

  3. Yasmine is the magic variety that actually does the opposite! The nay-sayers will tell you it's just water weight, but I'm unconvinced. Back when I was a budding teenager I was the thinnest of my life.. and also on Yas. I'm PRAYING this was not a coincidence because I seriously could use the help!!!!

  4. -And no worries, miss anonymous, both of us have taken the route of responsible adults and gotten tested. All is well :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...