Monday, September 5, 2011

Kissing or Telling

Yesterday I surprised myself when, in a frisky frenzy and ironically amidst very fond thoughts for TMI, I messaged Handsome Parisian. And, like the worst kind of vixen, I announced that my boyfriend was out of town. I couldn't resist the thrill of the flirt and, assuming a position of non-commitance, asked if he might be traveling in Dijon's direction anytime soon. To my simultaneous horror and delight, he said he could probably figure out how to "swing something."

Then I had to take a startled pause. What the heck am I doing? Am I really deliberating planning to cheat on TMI? How is it that I can go around all day missing him and telling myself that I love him and in the same state of mind casually ask Handsome Parisian if he's up for casual sex?

Somehow I always hoped that love came with a handy dandy eraser of any desire for other people. YES I'm sympathetic, YES I desperately want to avoid hurting TMI, and yet, I can't shake the solid belief that it's not the cheat that does the hurting, it's the TELLING.

Casual sex with someone else wouldn't erase my feelings for TMI; it wouldn't dissuade me from being in a relationship with him. In fact, the only thing that would have any conceivable effect on our future or happiness together would be assaulting him with the terrible truth.




Seriously which is the crime here, the kissing, or the telling??


  1. the kissing. sorry... unless it's been prearranged that you can peruse outside the relationship. in which case, the harm may be in the telling.

  2. I dunno. Usually when I question things and I don't feel certain about them, I might have anxiety after the fact that I do not want to have to deal with, so for me, even when the kissing is tempting, it's not worth the afterwards.

  3. I was recently trying to persuade a man that there was no finite amount of desire, and while I may desire him very much, that does not mean that I lose desire for all other men on the planet. So, I don't think you should feel guilty for having these feelings, or even for acting on them.

    I agree with Janelle. Unless you have a prearranged agreement, cheating on TMI will be a violation of his trust. However he may never find out and then you'll just have to see if you can live with your conscience.

    Do you think you can cheat on TMI and refrain from telling him?


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