Keeping it Light

"According to certain scientists, whenever a woman has sex, her body produces a chemical which causes her to emotionally attach. This chemical may also account for the series of terrifying questions that involuntarily pop into our minds even after just one casual tryst. Questions like: “does he like me?” “will he call again?” and the classic, “where is this all going?” When it comes to men, even when we try to keep it light, how do we wind up in the dark?"

A poignant question from my favorite fictional columnist. That said, Paris was lovely, but there's no fighting biology.

In response to my post on Sex and Sex Too Soon, another woman of words commented: "Turns out that humans don't value things that come too easily. Money, love, sex, new shoes; they all fall into the same abyss. Easy come IS easy go."

Is it too much to ask that humans could grow up a bit and get over the egos and the chemicals? Can we possibly learn to overlook the chase, or in some cases, the impulse to attach, and just start falling in love?

In other more travel related news my weekend in Paris, due to some embarrassing un-savyness when it comes to trains and train stations, ended with a day long tour of the Bourgogne region of France instead of the 1 1/2 hour it should have taken me to get back to Dijon. I even had a whole hour to myself to wander around the lesser known village of Laroche-Migennes; plenty of time to become pleasantly acquainted with all three of the town's inhabitants: a duck, and two old men fishing.

the canal in Laroche.

This is Getting Harry

50% off French flowery lingerie. Yes. Just yes.

I'm falling for an English guy named Harry. No lightening bolt scar though. No particularly Earth shaking good looks either, which is unusual for me. While I at first admired him for our ability to have a platonic relationship, after I went to his violin concert at the music conservatoire I was thankfully reminded how people can be attractive in other ways apart from the physical. After his show, we went out drinking and then back to my place, where, at 4 am, I received a breath taking drunken private violin concert by a weathered master. Fabulous - and, somewhere around the third movement, I felt an unfamiliar flutter in the less superficial part of my heart.

But he's taken! So back into the fray. I'm heading back to Paris this weekend ;)

In other more dangerous news I shall be attempting a home brazilian this evening. Oh yeah. This is life on the edge.

Boat Music

In not so sexy news I went to the boat and danced tonight. Danced to an amazing singing black woman with an afro and a sparkly dress and a band of good lookin guys playing trumpets and drums and electric guitars. It was unbelievably fabulous- the woman was incredible.

And tomorrow is job interview number one! With any luck. And next week brings three meetings with my three new English students! ..Again, with any luck.

Honorable Intentions! Oh, I Mean Erectile Dysfunction.

I wish I could say that this is the first time this has happened to me. But for those of you cued in to my previous post about the not-so-French and not-so-guy-like behavior from the fellow I've been dating lately, I now have an answer to all the burning questions.

That glimmer of hope for mankind that I saw the other night which came in the form of "I think we should wait," was clarified tonight with "I thought we should wait because sometimes... this happens." "This" being, you guessed it, an inability to rise to the occasion.

He explained incessantly that it wasn't me, that it happens to the poor guy all the time as of about a year ago, and used it to explain his earlier reluctance. I was as loving and cuddely and as understanding as humanly possible.

I did however kick him out when he asked to stay the night. Not in a terribly insensitive way, just in a... you don't have a toothbrush and you're a smoker... kind of way.

There's Sex, and There's Sex too Soon. (apparently)

I've been dating a guy the last few weeks: as in, allowing myself to be bought drinks, taken out dancing, and kissed occasionally at my doorstep. The guy in question seems nice enough, and even semi enjoyable, but my body just refuses to get butterflies and my mind refuses to stop dwelling on our differences as well as his just-not-totally-handsome-enough-ness. I can't convince myself I'd ever want to get """"serious,"""" but I haven't considered sex to be out of the question.

Tonight, while he was driving me home, he said "so... I have to see you again."

When we pulled over on my street and kissed goodnight, I told him I was tempted to invite him upstairs. He had been giving a rather valiant effort for some time, after all. To my great surprise, he told me that while he wanted to come up to my apartment, he thought it would be better if we "waited."

I'm sorry? Did I hear you correctly? This is a French guy we're talking about here. That's not "guy" or "French." Not to mention that this suggests entirely honorable intentions. Which might actually get me in trouble with a guy who ignites no butterflies. B says I should cue him in on this so I don't hurt him. Honestly, being so often on the other end of the stick I can't fathom being in such a position.

Are all men naturally programmed to ditch if they get sex too easily? Do the ones that actually have desire/intention to stick around want to put off sex just for the sake of prohibiting their own biological mechanisms to be jerks?? And, if so, does this really mean that a girl has to live her life denying the men who give her butterflies lest she gets a kick in the heart and a no show the morning after?

well phoque!