So Hawaii's not too much worse for the wear. My home town's a little flooded, a few people have their houses floating in Kealakekua bay, there were some sea creature casualties, but all are fine and aloha spirit stubbornly remains.
boat house.
Ali'i drive.
I chickened out and cancelled my train ticket to Paris because I was having trouble finding a place to stay. I'm authentically terrified of how my sensitive and irrational self will handle a birthday friendless and moneyless, so I let images of me weeping solitarily in a Parisian hotel room the night of the 16th scare me into cancelling the trip. For now.
I'm also sorely aware that staying here with that wretched stinking creature who lies on the couch ALL DAY and watches tv, (rising every 30 min to don his coat and smoke in the stairwell) is no good for me either. It's so depressing. How does a person like that live with themselves? Why does a person like that even have a name?? In my fury he shall be an "it" for this and potentially the next few posts.
In other negative news I'm turning 23. No longer with the sexy dangerous ring of 22. How I love the number 22. As I'm explaining/complaining to a Greek friend over facebook chat this very moment:
"Aging is much easier on men. You guys are fertile all your lives; aka: women find you sexy all your lives. Women loose it along with the last egg, condemned to a life of non-sexyness."
yes I waste time on worries comme ca.
And last but not least, I transferred some money to K tonight. I talked to him over the phone and he had given his "last dollar to a guy on the street." He drawled on about wanting to die and kill all who worked at insurance companies and banks.
It reminds me of Obi-Wan when he had to fight Anakin and sever his heart strings for his young apprentice because he had gone to the dark side. Obi-Wan still loved Anakin, but he had to accept the the fun loving person he cared about was gone.
I haven't seen the side of K that's the spiritual creative and cuddly man I fell in love with when I was 18 in a year.
"The boy you trained.. gone he is! Consumed by the dark side, young Skywalker has become!"
My Dear One: I must testify on behalf of post-egg sexiness: With a good lover [which includes your own self] the sexiness only really BEGINS around 48 or so. When asked what one could do to improve one's sex life, the esteemed sexologist Susie Bright replied, without missing a beat, "Get older." I heard it with my own ears. There is the outside, and that is one thing; and then there is the indide, which rules the entire show.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Wednesday the 16th of March is also "Chaharshanbe Suri" which is the preface to the Persian New Year Celebration of Nowruz on the 20th: This is the night when bonfires are lit and people leap over them, letting all fear and weakness fall and be burned away in preparation for the new year. It is very auspicious for you that your birthday falls on this day this year. Make the most of it, even if all you got handy is a candle.
I love you, baby, and will be singing to you over the ocean. I know you will hear me. All Love, yer Coz Katharine